Divorce And Grief Counseling Kansas City; Top Therapist Explains The Phases Of Divorce Related Grief

By Sharon Long


To the disbelief of many, the divorce process is bound to leave you grieving from ambiguous loss. The kind of pain you will go through is not so different what is typically experienced after the passing on of a loved one. Unfortunately, you are almost guaranteed of grieving, irrespective of whether your marriage was a complete nightmare or a bed of roses. If you feel the need to receive divorce and grief counseling Kansas City is a good place to begin research for an ideal therapist.

Once you are served with the divorce papers, the first phase you will fall into is denial. You may assume that your partner is acting out and is possibly not serious about the decision. The shock may even leave you thinking that what happened did not happen at all. The duration of the denial phase will depend on whether or not you saw a divorce coming.

From this point, you will get into the pain and panic phase. You may feel pain and anxious because of all the emotional and monetarily changes that are bound to take place. The thought of what your kids will go through could also leave you anxious and in pain. The sad news is that neither time nor counseling can guarantee that all your pain will ultimately vanish. The good news however is that pain is fear escaping from your body and it will motivate you to plan for a better tomorrow.

The pain will gradually turn into anger. This is where you get angered about what you went through during marriage and possibly how frustrated you were until the end. The majorities of parents will also be angry about the pain the kids will go through because of the separation.

Because of all that is going on, including the pain, denial and anger, you may feel the urge to negotiate with your spouse. This may involve trying to do the impossible to save your sinking marriage. Even though bargaining is known to have saved some marriages, it often does not work, especially when things are already messy. You should hence focus on what your future holds for you.

The guilt phase then kicks in and this where you think about all the things you would have done different. In some cases, the turn of events can be blamed on both spouses. You should therefore take it easy on yourself to get rid of that feeling of carrying around a hundred pounds wrapped around your ankles. Any therapist will tell you for free that you need to get over the guilty feeling for you to move on.

During and after a divorce, it is common for individuals to get depressed. They will reminisce on the hardships that come with being divorced and will even hold a lot of pain, anger and regret in their hearts. All the emotional torment that takes place during this stage is what drives most people to seek therapy.

Life does not come to a halt simply because one has been divorced. The body creates a coping mechanism and it is true that time is a healer. That said, the final stage is acceptance where an individual embraces the past and focuses on the future. Getting to this phase is not easy and seeking reliable counseling would be crucial.




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